Helping Youth Navigate the Online World

The online world is a foreign country colonised by our young people. They know the terrain and the topography; they understand contours and the configurations; they explore while we are left looking around. But is it safe? 

Jonathan Haidt’s recent book has suggested that technology is causing a ‘great rewiring’ resulting in an ever-increasing mental health crisis. I agree there’s a need for limitations on technology for youth, but these claims seem overstated as we navigate the online world with nuance and wisdom. In this article I want to suggest some ways of understanding the terrain and assessing it. I will conclude with some wisdom questions for parents.

What Are The Possibilities?

Amid all the warnings, the positives of digital technology must be made clear; there is a reason why we use these things. We are connected creatures who love to communicate and express ourselves. Social media gives enormous potential for creative expression, whether that’s through short videos on TikTok, or images on Instagram, or creative text on other platforms. We love to share beauty as well as shout for justice and different platforms give different opportunities for this.

These connections give enormous opportunity for the gospel. Can we imagine a scenario where our young people are loving God and neighbour online -- where they see the digital landscape as a place where they can place lanterns of grace? The danger of retreating and removing smartphones is that this removes the salt and light from a generation who lives a significant portion of life online. 

Connectivity has both positive and negative aspects: they can be influenced, but they also have the power to influence. They could engage with non-Christians across the globe and have an enlarged sense of global mission and need. They could discover amazing resources which deepen their discipleship. They could become the online equivalent of Billy Graham. The possibilities are vast, unless we fail to disciple them into digital faithfulness because we are concerned about the temptations and dangers they may encounter online.

Living as salt and light online will necessarily involve guiding youth to embrace digital boundaries and limitations. This approach calls youth towards godliness and wisdom in their online lives, rather than merely settling for “restrictions” because of the potential dangers. 

Life Online

In her excellent Always On, Angela Williams Gorrell suggests the key aspect of social media is its ‘connectivity’. The way we communicate has changed. For example, teenagers send selfies as a form of communication. We can now talk to anyone in the world with relative ease, and that has opened incredible opportunities and challenges for young people who are still forming their identity.

In some ways this is no different from how it has ever been. Young people have always wanted to explore and connect with different people, often without parents’ knowledge. I remember stretching the telephone cable as far as I could so I could speak to a girlfriend without being overheard. The opportunities are greater, but the issue is the same. 

Recent research has suggested that the smartphone functions as a ‘transportal home’ for young people; somewhere they live and reside alongside their home in their real world. In some ways there is no division between the two. This would give reason to Pete Etchells argument for a ‘Goldilocks zone’ in screen use: removing a smartphone entirely may have as negative an effect as unfettered access. Etchells refers to two separate pieces of research from 2019 and 2020 in Zurich and the UK which suggest that an ‘appropriate level’ of screen use is key to wellbeing, and this will differ between individuals (p13, 211). 

What Are The Perils?

With great connectivity comes the great possibility of genuine harm. This must be acknowledged. Just as there are bullies in the playground, so there are bullies in the online world. These may take the shape of wicked adults or just fellow students. Again, this is a continuation of the risks in the offline world but undoubtedly with some more acute risks.

Another potential peril is the speed of social media. Where we used to take time to write letters, we can now fire off a quick response which can reach the globe. The pressure to be available and respond quickly is great and can add to the pressure and anxiety of young people. There can be a sense of always needing to be available, even when that communication might be unwanted and harmful. Another peril can be that of being shamed online, which can happen very suddenly and unexpectedly with severe repercussions.

And, of course, there is just simply wicked and sinful content which people have put online.

This may be where some restrictions are important and wise: setting and discussing time limits and privacy settings should be a non-negotiable for youth and children to have a smartphone. It is important to do this in conversation with the young people, although this will vary with age. In my experience the teenagers often understand this better than the adults, which does not mean they always make sensible decisions.  Pressing for a simple ban undermines the abilities of young people to work these things out and come to sensible positions.

What Should We Do Now?

I’ve attached a wisdom sheet for parents at the end of this blog. The essence of the questions in this wisdom sheet will help you navigate the nuances of setting up limitations while empowering kids to make responsible decisions. Children and young people are all different and the apps they want to engage with are all different. This means that they will react differently to different levels of connectivity. Some may be susceptible to mental health issues in areas of appearance and image. Others may be less thick skinned when faced with disagreements online. 

This discernment is where the parents in our ministries need some guidance to have those conversations with their children. Each family will work it out differently (sometimes tailored for each child, even!) and that is OK. Throwing an unrestricted phone at our children or removing it entirely are both poor strategies. Each come from a place of fear: disappointing the child gives an unrestricted phone while fear of the online space results in complete ban.

Youth workers can support families by serving as intermediaries, helping both sides to navigate something which is new and frightening to many parents (being careful to not impose your opinion over the family). The purpose of parenting and youth ministry is to do our best to raise disciples who can honour Jesus in the world, and this includes the online world. 

This is a key aspect of youth discipleship. Youth groups would do well to help their teenagers navigate online life in a way that honours Jesus in the same way that we help them to navigate their offline life. Setting restrictive rules will not raise up young disciples and an overly harsh and negative culture is likely to foster rebellion. Some of our teenagers may need to consider pulling back on their use, but also some parents and youth leaders may need to consider pushing more into understanding digital life rather than being reactive to the latest scares and popular publications.

Please do look at this wisdom sheet and adapt or share however it may benefit your ministry.