Church Discipline and Student Ministry

Student ministry: it's the best of times, and it’s the worst of times. It’s seeing teenagers' faces light up as they understand the Bible and God's love for them. It's laughing incredibly hard because of something a student said. It's also calling parents because of behavior issues. It's having awkward conversations with students. 

If you surveyed what part of their job youth pastors most dislike, I suspect it would be dealing with disciplinary problems. It can be tempting for youth ministry leaders to avoid discipline as much as possible. We may worry that the student and their family will never return and call us unloving or judgmental. We may worry that, because of having to discipline, students may not see us as a safe option to have heart-to-heart conversations. Yet, it's an essential part of the job. If there is no discipline in the ministry, your student ministry's culture will be one of chaos.

What if we viewed discipline differently? What if we began to view it as essential to our student ministries and the individual's discipleship?

Why Church Discipline Remains Important 

We glean a biblical theology of student ministry by looking at other theological concepts, such as the identity and purpose of the Church, and the centrality of the Word, to name a couple of examples. There is no specific guide for disciplining students in your youth ministry. When we look to Jesus' teachings on church discipline we gain insight into what discipline looks like in the lives of our students and it’s ultimate goal- pointing students to the glory of Christ.

Jesus teaches in Matthew 18:15-20 that it is good for the church to discipline its members. This process begins in private, and if the offender is repentant then "you have won your brother," and they are restored after their repentance. Yet if the offender is not repentant, the process becomes the responsibility of the entire church. Should the offender remain unrepentant, the church should treat that individual as a "Gentile and a tax collector" or a nonbeliever. 

This process of discipline is one Paul reiterated as he writes to the church in Corinth. A church member was living in unrepentant sexual sin, a sin "not even tolerated among the Gentiles" (1 Corinthians 5:1). Paul told the church to "hand that one over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord (1 Cor. 5:5). These two examples from Scripture show us the goal of church discipline: to bring believers to repentance of sin, and to expose the lack of genuine faith in those who profess faith but are not truly converted. A persistent refusal to repent of sin even after attempts shows that the church can no longer confidently say that the unrepentant offender is a genuine believer. Remember, perfection is not a mark of the Christian life. Rather, ongoing repentance in the face of sin is a fruit of genuine conversion. A refusal to repent when made aware of sin gives the church cause to question the validity of one’s profession of faith. Once again, it’s important to restate the goal is not for the church or the leaders to control church members. The goal is faithful discipleship, which surely involves the faith and humility of those who are initiating these difficult conversations. 

Church Discipline and Student Ministry

What does this have to do with student ministry? Admittedly, youth groups cannot practice church discipline as laid out by Jesus. This is because youth groups are not local churches. But they are ministries of local churches. Therefore, a youth group seeking to practice church discipline would be overstepping its bounds and engaging in an activity they have not been given the authority to do. This discipline may look like one-on-one conversations with students, meetings with parents, and possible restrictions on if the student can attend events. 

Students who have been baptized or confirmed have made public professions of faith and were formally welcomed into the church community. It is especially important for these students to remember they belong to more than just the youth group. Their public professions of faith may or may not involve membership, depending on the church, but it is entirely appropriate for that student to receive the same affirmation and correction given to adults in the church.

The words of Jesus and Paul teach us three things about discipline issues in student ministry.

First, our goal should be to bring that student to repentance

Often, teenagers may not understand that what they are doing is sinful. For example, they may not see that frequently disrespecting their leader (Hebrews 13:7), crude joking (Ephesians 5:4), or vaping on a church trip (1 Cor. 6:19-20) are actions that conflict with Scripture. By lovingly rebuking them, they may come to see their sin and sincerely repent of it. 

Secondly, discipline often reveals the heart

For example, suppose a student is aggressively determined that what they are doing is not wrong despite frequent warnings. In that case, this gives their youth leaders a better idea of where they may be spiritually. Depending on the severity of the offenses, perhaps the student cannot continue serving in particular leadership roles or attend an event or camp. While painful, the hope behind discipline is repentance and renewal of the student. In contexts where Matthew 18 is practiced in the larger body of the church, it may be the leader's responsibility to bring the issue up before the other pastors/elders, especially if that student has been baptized/confirmed or welcomed into membership. Suppose the student attends but is not a Christian, then discipline gives the leaders a chance to understand the student better and provides meaningful conversations and opportunities to pray with them. 

Third, discipline sets the culture of the ministry

It is clear the Corinthian church needed a culture change. The discipline of the man in 1 Corthians 5 could bring that change in the culture and health of the church. They would go from tolerating "leaven of malice and evil" to "unleavened bread of sincerity and truth" (1 Cor. 5:8). What youth pastors tolerate or allow will be engrained into the culture of the youth ministry. Do you tolerate students making harsh comments to one another? The ministry will form cliques or be full of students who feel isolated. Does the ministry tolerate crude joking and disrespect? The ministry's culture will be one of crudeness and lightheartedness with no sense of seriousness. However, suppose it is evident that these actions and others like them will not be tolerated. Obviously, we don’t want to establish a legalistic culture that feeds self-righteousness, but it’s probably more common for youth ministries to err on the side of permissiveness. 

Discipline in student ministry matters. It reveals sin, offers opportunities for repentance, exposes students' hearts, and can set the culture. We must not be afraid of difficult conversations or meetings with parents. Instead, we must pray for repentance in the lives of our students as we call them to Christ. Their salvation and holiness is the reason for discipline. Yes, students and their parents may leave. You may get an angry email accusing you of being a judgemental hypocrite. However, we must press on as we seek to lead those entrusted to us in righteousness and truth which are found in the Lord Jesus.