An Overlooked Reason Good Youth Pastors Leave Youth Ministry

I’ve been a full-time youth pastor since 2005. During my interviews for that position, I was very clear that I did not consider myself a “lifer” - someone who is called to serve as a youth pastor for life. Confessing this seemed like the end of my interview process, because many talk like the only alternative to being a lifer is to be someone who treats youth ministry as a stepping stone.

Obviously, they called me to serve as their Pastor of Youth & Families, and I happily ministered there for fourteen years before moving to my current church. After sixteen years, I’m still a youth pastor while every friend who teased me for not being a lifer is now in a different ministry role outside of youth ministry. We have often joked that I’m the first one everyone expected to make the jump. But here I am. 

Are these friends less faithful to their calling than I have been? No. Absolutely not. 

Here is what I’ve observed: many enter youth ministry as a “lifer.” Then, about ten years later they struggle with confusion over their interest to become an Associate or Senior Pastor. They feel a significant amount of guilt over this, but shouldn’t. Here’s why: they were called to pastor the generation behind them. When they were twenty-something year old pastors, that looked like youth ministry. And they continue to follow that generation, with faithful ministry to them throughout their pastoral tenures. Their calling in youth ministry was an expression of their calling to reach that generation of teenagers. But those teenagers aren’t teenagers anymore. So they aren’t youth pastors anymore. This seems like something so obvious it’s flown under the radar for years. 

In all the conversations I’ve had with friends and fellow pastors about the reasons why good youth pastors leave youth ministry, this is rarely mentioned. We usually talk about the general disrespect that is given towards those in youth ministry, so they “move up” in order to be treated with some respect. Or we consider the payscale, and how most youth pastors simply cannot provide for their family on the salary that’s offered to youth pastors. Those are both valid reasons that drive good youth pastors out of youth ministry. But when we understand the ultimate purpose of youth ministry is to make adult disciples whose faith took root in their teen years - it shouldn’t be a surprise when youth pastors become young adult pastors or associate pastors or senior pastors. This isn’t “stepping stone” ministry, it’s faithfulness to disciple a generation.

For me, I’ve realized that I am more called to “youth ministry” than to a particular generation. That’s not the norm, and it probably shouldn’t be. Both callings are valid and important. We need pastors who are committed to reaching the generation behind them; and we need pastors who continue in youth ministry even though they “could” lead in more prestigious areas of ministry.

Meanwhile, I am naturally burdened to plead with some youth pastors to consider remaining in youth ministry as they mature. As strange as it may be to say (or write): I do believe I could be a good senior pastor, but my calling today remains tethered to youth ministry. Just because you can do something else that’s widely considered to be higher up on the ladder or chain-of-command, that doesn’t mean you should go there. After all, if we lament the perpetual immaturity of youth ministry but all our veteran youth pastors shift into new roles, then what else do we expect to happen? 

We need young men and women to enter the youth ministry world with a passion to reach teenagers with the gospel. We also need some grey haired and bald youth workers to stay in the trenches. Teenagers are worth it, and they need seasoned ministers to disciple them. 

As you consider your own calling, be very slow to determine whether or not you’re called to a generation or to youth ministry. If you asked me fifteen years ago, I would’ve given you a very different answer than what I’d say today. My friends who are in other ministry roles would’ve given you different answers too. The Lord will make it clear to you at the right time. So, for now, simply be faithful in ministry to the students God has entrusted to your oversight. And when the opportunity comes to “move up” in the ministry world, ask the Lord for wisdom - he gives it generously.