Should Churches Shift From Youth Ministry to Family Ministry?
This article is part of a series about the youth pastor’s ministry to parents. You can find the rest of the series with the Partnering with Parents tag. For more about family ministry and partnering with parents, listen to our podcast episodes with Anna Meade Harris, Kristen Hatton, Jared Kennedy, and Walt Mueller.
Should churches shift from youth ministry to family ministry in order to prioritize the importance of partnering with parents?
This is a question many churches are asking. And, as we’ll see, it’s not a new question. On one hand, the shift reflects a very biblical emphasis on ministry to the whole family rather than teenagers in isolation. But at the same time, I am somewhat concerned the question is missing the bigger picture of what it means to prioritize “Family Ministry” in the church.
One of my first objections to shifting away from “Youth Ministry” and towards “Family Ministry” terminology is the fuzziness around what it even is. To some, Family Ministry happens when youth pastors keep teenagers’ whole families in mind and partner with parents as they disciple the youth together. Others use it as an umbrella that encompasses all of children’s ministry, youth ministry, and parent ministry. And others see it not as a program at all, but as a driving conviction that’s infused in the church’s culture. This leads to situations where ministry leaders affirm the importance of “Family Ministry” only to eventually discover they’re using the same word but a different dictionary.
I’m writing this article in order to invite churches and ministry leaders to clarify what they mean by “Family Ministry” (FM). In order to do that, we’ll explore a few definitions and descriptions of FM and some core convictions about what it looks like in the local church.
What is Family Ministry?
Here are a few definitions from significant voices in the FM movement.
“Family ministry is the process of coordinating a church’s practices so that all members develop diverse discipling relationships and so that parents are acknowledged, equipped, and held accountable as primary disciple-makers in their children’s lives.” Timothy Paul Jones, A New Definition of Family Ministry, part three (this three-part series from 2017 is worth reading)
“Family-based youth ministry is a paradigm, not a program. It is ministering to youth in the most biblical and effective way possible by equipping and empowering the most influential people in a teenager’s life – their parents.” Jim Burns and Mark Devries, Partnering with Parents in Youth Ministry. Gospel Light, 2003. P.41.
“Family ministry should not be another program you add to your list of programs. It should be the filter you use to create and evaluate what you do to influence children and teenagers. Family ministry [is] an effort to synchronize church leaders and parents around a master plan to build faith and character in their sons and daughters.” Reggie Joiner, Think Orange. Colorado Springs: David C. Cook, 2009. p.83.
“When I talk about implementing a family-based youth ministry, it’s important to understand that I am talking less about establishing specific programs and more about creating an ongoing ethos…. Family-based youth ministry is not, strictly speaking, a ‘model’ but rather a foundation that every youth ministry needs to ensure its long-term impact.” Mark Devries, Family-Based Youth Ministry, 2nd edition. Downer’s Grove, IL: IVP, 2004. P.176.
“Family ministry is an intentional partnership between the church and the home designed to teach kids, develop leaders, and equip parents who all become disciple-making disciples.” Steven Ackley, Lifeway Ministry Grid Training
It would be a great encouragement to see many of these definitions and descriptions become the reality in churches around the world. One thing you might notice is the emphasis that FM is not a program or an initiative. It is a core commitment of a church. It is more a way of doing ministry than it is a model of doing ministry.
Think of it this way: Family ministry has to do with culture, not program.
This reveals a gap between the way books and experts talk about FM and the way it is practiced and defined by your typical local church. For example, a growing number of churches have established a “Family Ministry” department to oversee ministry to children and youth. Organizationally, that makes sense. But making FM a department within the church moves it from being a churchwide emphasis to the realm of specialists who serve youth and children. I don’t think this is always a bad decision; my point is that it’s a different definition of FM than what is defined in the quotations above.
Hence, it seems to me that definitions and descriptions of Family Ministry from classrooms and books are very different from how the typical church is talking about and implementing it. So, when a church or a ministry organization says they are pivoting to emphasize “Family Ministry” I am sincerely confused about what that means.
Three Components of Family Ministry
Chap Clark’s book “The Youth Worker’s Handbook to Family Ministry” remains one of the best resources on this topic, even though it was published in 1997. And this is partially my point about pushing back on a shift away from “Youth Ministry” and towards “Family Ministry” instead. Clark identified three main perspectives on Family Ministry that shapes each church’s approach. Despite the book’s age, these perspectives are still evident today and can provide some good clarity. Since the book is older than many youth pastors today, I’ll retain Clark’s headings but with my own descriptions.
The Therapeutic Perspective
This approach to FM emphasizes the church’s role in equipping and supporting parents. Typically, this might include marriage conferences or retreats, seminars about mental health issues teenagers are experiencing, and general support for kids, youth, and parents. “Support” is probably the keyword for this perspective.
The Nuclear Family Perspective
Parents are the number one influence on a teenager’s life. That’s true spiritually, too. Since the Bible teaches that parents are the primary disciple-makers, this perspective emphasizes the church’s role to equip, empower, and call parents for family discipleship. This is what Timothy Paul Jones means by talking about FM as “family-as-church.” The keyword for this perspective is “Family Discipleship.”
The Church as a Family Perspective
The church is the family of God. Many churches say that while ignoring all the spiritual children and teenagers. This perspective on FM highlights church-wide belonging. Many youth workers are advocating for this perspective by talking about intergenerational ministry. Chap Clark helpfully elaborates on this aspect in his book Adoptive Church. Timothy Paul Jones balances out the “family-as-church” emphasis with the “church-as-family” as the complementary commitment of FM. Predictably, “Intergenerational Ministry” is today’s keyword for this perspective.
These three perspectives on Family Ministry paint a faithful and vibrant portrait for the church’s ministry to families. And yet, my concern with the Family Ministry movement is that it continues to generally highlight one of these three while overlooking the others. Accordingly, the same confusion that Chap Clark sought to address in 1997 remains today. But if these three components (or perspectives) are held together then the Family Ministry movement would be move forward with greater clarity and fruitfulness, regardless of whether or not it’s called “Family Ministry.”
Practical Considerations About Shifting to “Family Ministry”
I agree with Mark Cannister when he writes, “Family ministry should not be thought of as a model for ministry. Rather, family ministry should be viewed as a concept that is an essential aspect of student ministries” (Teenagers Matter: Making Student Ministry a Priority in the Church, p.181). Again, family ministry is essential to biblical youth ministry. That’s not up to debate. But for the most part, I think changing verbiage is a surface-level change that distracts from actual family ministry (and sometimes provides a false sense of positive movement that’s only surface-deep).
In my personal opinion, small and medium-sized churches will not benefit from making a shift from talking about “Youth Ministry” to “Family Ministry.” Churches that employ multiple staff positions for children and youth, however, may find clarity and focus by aligning both ministries under the leadership and oversight of a Family Pastor. Regardless of church size, if your church changes terminology but doesn’t genuinely embrace a churchwide commitment to FM then nothing is changing other than the signage, org charts, and job titles.
Smaller churches tend to have longstanding programs for their children’s ministry. This was the case in my own former church where I transitioned from “Pastor of Student Ministries” to “Pastor of Youth and Families.” Adding families to my title and job description helped me provide oversight and leadership in some positive ways. Still, it did not empower me with authority and the congregational trust to enact significant change in certain legacy ministries. This is common among youth pastors whose titles and job descriptions have changed. Churches (and youth pastors, like myself, who advocate for this change) need to count the cost of embracing Family Ministry. The three aspects/perspectives above must be addressed throughout this transition to make it truly effective.
At the same time, many youth pastors have begun to view themselves as advocates for parents and have been working towards a more intergenerational approach to ministry. If steady progress has been made in this direction then they’re already doing FM, regardless of the label. I’m concerned shifting to “Family Ministry” could ironically slow down that kind of momentum. After all, the definitions above emphasize that FM can be done without the label. So, if churches are already moving in a more biblical direction in their youth ministry then I’d simply encourage them to keep going.
A Few Questions About Your Church’s Readiness for Family Ministry
As churches and ministries wrestle with the question of moving away from “Youth Ministry” language in favor of “Family Ministry,” here are a few important questions to wrestle with.
What differentiates Family Ministry from biblically faithful ministries to children/youth that partner with parents?
What differentiates Family Ministry from youth ministries that minister to the whole child (which includes their family)?
Does the church leadership (pastors, elders, deacons, etc.) consider the youth and children to be part of their flock, or only the parents? How is this evident in their ministry and leadership decisions?
How will you ensure that your Family Ministry will not treat single-parent households as second-class citizens?
How will you ensure that Family Ministry is a cultural value across the entire church, rather than allowing it to become the domain of certain ministry leaders?
How will your church’s commitment to Family Ministry intentionally work towards fulfilling the Great Commission among unchurched youth and children, rather than focusing only on Christian families?
Are the church leaders and parents eager to prayerfully discern ways to enfold youth and children into the rhythms of church life? If not, what does that tell you about the church’s commitment to “Family Ministry”?
