Personal Discipleship in Youth Ministry
Editor’s note: Ministry takes place in a variety of settings: one-on-one, small groups, large groups, camps/retreats. Each contributes differently to a students’s spiritual growth and brings different challenges, too. This month’s series “Contexts of Discipleship” will help you think through the ways you can better understand your context in order to disciple youth into lifelong faith.
Life-changing moments in someone’s journey with Christ can happen from the pulpit or in small group settings, but some of the most impactful moments come from sitting across a table from someone, in deep conversation, with an open Bible and an open heart. Disciples often thrive in these personal, intentional spaces where truth is shared, questions are welcomed, and real conversations happen.
One of my favorite ways to disciple students comes from Jesus’s example. Out of the crowds that followed Him, He intentionally chose twelve men to invest in—teaching, walking alongside, and preparing them for the work ahead. Within that group, He drew even closer to three—Peter, James, and John—exposing them to a level of intimacy and pouring into them in a way that would uniquely prepare them for a deeper form of leadership and faith.
Personal discipleship is about taking a group of younger believers—maybe 3 or 4—and intentionally guiding them toward growth. Paul’s challenge to Titus is clear: “Older women should teach what is good...likewise, older men should teach the young men to be self-controlled” (Titus 2:3-8, summarized). It’s a call for mature Christians to guide those who are spiritually younger. This means personal discipleship isn’t just a nice option, something to approach when you have a break from your “real ministry”—it’s a biblical command for all believers, especially those called to shepherd others.
Personal Discipleship
Personal discipleship has been a huge part of my own story. Had it not been for godly men who took time to help me understand my gifts and calling, I honestly don’t know if I’d be in ministry today. Through the investment of four older, wiser Christians, I discovered God’s call for my life and learned how to study His Word in a way that deepened my faith and prepared me for my next steps in my walk with Christ.
A conversation I had with a scuba diving instructor really helped me understand the importance of personal discipleship. I asked him about the largest class he’d ever taught, and he told me it was usually about six students. The reason? Scuba diving can be dangerous, and the instructor needs to be close by to help if something goes wrong.
This got me thinking about personal discipleship. Young people face a lot of challenges in their walk with Christ:
Satan’s deception can lead them to doubt God’s Word and believe lies about their identity and purpose.
Distractions like social media, entertainment, and busyness can pull them away from God, making spiritual growth difficult..
Discouragement can creep in when their struggles, failures, or unanswered prayers make them wonder if God is even working in their lives.
Habitual sin can trap them in cycles of guilt and shame, leaving them feeling unworthy of God’s love and distant from His presence.
Just like a scuba instructor can’t stop a shark from attacking or a tank from leaking, we can’t prevent the dangers young believers face. But through personal discipleship, we can help guide them through those dangers, leading them to the safety of Christ.
Through personal discipleship, we create an environment where students can ask questions, seek truth, and be reminded of God’s faithfulness honestly and openly. We help them develop the tools they need to navigate through challenges and lead them back to the safety and peace found in Christ. It’s this hands-on, relational approach that can especially help younger believers stay rooted in their faith and grow in their relationship with God.
Practical Ways for Personal Discipleship
Over the years, I’ve made it a point to invest in a few students each semester for personal discipleship. These are usually one-on-one or two-on-one meetings, and I try to make them focused and intentional. In our first meeting, I listen to where the student wants to grow, then we pick a book of the Bible or a Christian book to guide our conversations.
There’s no “one-size-fits-all” formula, but I commit to meeting weekly for about an hour, either in our youth space, my office, or sometimes a coffee shop for a change of pace. The meetings are usually structured, but they often go in different directions depending on what’s happening in the student’s life.
One time, meeting at a food court, God gave me the chance to share the gospel with a woman who overheard our conversation. She had struggled with her faith but was encouraged by the questions we were asking. That moment reminded me of the beauty of taking students into spaces where God might work in unexpected ways.
Outside of our regular meetings, I try to bring students along with me for ministry activities. Whether it's a hospital visit, setting up for an event, or just running errands, these moments often open the door for conversations that allow the student to grow. Jesus did this with His disciples—taking them everywhere, letting them learn by being with Him in real-life situations. I believe students can learn that way, too.
Being Realistic About Personal Discipleship
We are called to disciple others, but our first responsibility is to disciple our families. If you’re in a season of life where you can’t invest in more than one student, don’t feel bad about it. Our role as youth leaders is not to save students, but to point them to the Savior.
Listen to YPT Podcast ep.68 about Incarnational Youth Ministry, with Tim Gough.
With a two-year-old and an eight-month-old at home, my focus right now is on spending time with my wife and kids. I’m not adding extra evenings with students to my schedule. Instead, I meet with students after school or during work breaks. Personal discipleship can and should happen where God has placed you—whether it’s on a Sunday afternoon, a weekday, or in the middle of everyday life. The key is being intentional with whatever time you have, wherever that may be.
If all you can disciple is one person right now, that’s okay. If you can disciple more, praise God! We’re called to shepherd, not to be the Great Shepherd. Whomever you get to disciple, do it faithfully. As Paul says in Titus, “In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness, and soundness of speech” (Titus 2:7-8, ESV).
Mentorship and personal discipleship are key to guiding young believers in their journey with Christ. It’s about walking alongside them through life’s challenges, pointing them to the truth, and modeling Christ-like behavior. Whether through one-on-one meetings, shared ministry activities, or just being present in everyday moments, discipleship happens in those spaces where we’re intentional with our time. And remember, it’s not about doing it all; it’s about being faithful with the opportunities God gives us, whether that’s discipling one person or many.