A Pastoral Heart for Students

Pastors are shepherds. That is the nature of our calling in ministry. We lead God’s people (in our case, teenagers and their families) in a way that brings them, with joy, into the presence of God. 

Christians (and pastors, especially) are called to treat others in a way that reflects the character of God. This should be such a no-brainer it seems completely unnecessary to write. But it’s a sadly needed reminder lately, especially in our social media age. Here are a few ways that youth workers are called to reflect God’s heart towards their students. 

Joyful to Listen

How often do we truly sit with students and listen to them without distraction and without rushing them along? It might be tempting to assume you already know what students are going to say. I suspect we’ve all experienced conversations when the other person only heard what they expected to hear, rather than truly listening to what you said - don’t do that to students. Many students don’t have an adult in their life who truly listens to them. Be that person. 

When the Lord invites us to “pray continually,” (1 Thessalonians 5:17) we receive God’s tenderness in knowing that he truly does hear us. After all, if there is anyone who could say, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you’re going to say already. Here’s the solution,” then it is God (duh). But he doesn’t do that. Instead, God expresses his heart towards us by calling us to prayer. 

Patience

“The LORD is patient and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in steadfast love” (Psalm 145:8). What a beautiful picture of the character of God. This is one of those verses that I read and wonder what it’d be like if this passage wasn’t true. Just imagine… 

Youth ministry can be exhausting. Sometimes it can feel like you’ve have the same conversation a hundred times… with the same student. How can you patiently endure in your care for these precious and infuriating teenagers? By remembering the Lord’s incredible patience towards you! 

When we are patient with students about their sin, annoying personality traits, inability to show up on time or register for events, and in other ways… we are practicing pastoral care. In your relationships with students, praying Psalm 145:8 is a great way to reset your pastoral posture towards students. 

Gentle Correction 

Repentance isn’t a finger-point’y accusation (“You terrible sinner!”), but an invitation to live into God’s plan for his people (“Your sin cannot and will not satisfy. Turn away from it and trust God with your obedience.”). It is pastorally unkind to allow students to remain in sinful habits without inviting them into repentance. We need to admit that too many cold-hearted Christians use this type of statement as a facade for their lack of compassion. When our hearts are genuinely directed towards students with godly pastoral care, then we ask the Holy Spirit to allow our correction to be received with gentleness and love. 

It doesn’t take long to read about God’s prophets calling God’s people to repent from their sin because of God’s holy love for them. The central theme of Jesus’ ministry was “Repent, for the kingdom of God is at hand” (Mark 1:15). Most of the New Testament was written to correct false doctrine and godless living. Youth workers who never correct students are merely adult friends, not shepherds. 

Abundant Grace

Grace gives what isn’t deserved. It is far too easy for youth ministries to fall into either legalism or antinomianism. Legalism is usually a well-intentioned way to help students know what to do and what not to. But in this setting, sin is usually dealt with in a “do XYZ and it should get better” type of approach - and that’s not how sanctification works. In the end, this well-intentioned legalism only makes students feel less loved. Antinomians, on the other hand, erase God’s commandments by lavishing his grace and mercy on anyone who needs it. This can even have the aroma of gospel-centeredness to it, but it undermines the heart of holiness by permitting sin to go uncorrected. 

Instead, we aspire to be youth workers who give our students pastoral care, in light of the cross and empty tomb. We know how much we’ve been forgiven - so we forgive students, even when they’ve done the same stupid thing a hundred times. And we assure students of the love of God when they cast their faith on Christ, because he is the Good Shepherd who laid down his life for his sheep. 

In the end, it’s probably best to dwell on Psalm 23, and to pray that God would continue to shepherd us as we seek to shepherd our students. 

“The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.”
Psalm 23, NIV84